There are two things I notice every time I talk to someone who is traumatized.
The first is people who are seriously traumatized, most of them were traumatized not by outsiders but by their loved ones, parents, siblings, relatives, and junior teachers whom they respected.
I realized that outsiders can not hurt the pure heart of a pure white child, which only their loving family and environment could do.
Second, their trauma did not get at a time when they were the age of thinking; It is realized that they got it when they did not know how to think correctly.
By looking at these facts, I have realized understand the importance things that community, empathy, and support of family and environment for children under the age of 18.
Even as I study psychology, I have also noticed that I often say things that hurt my children and the children around me.
When stress is high and you decide not to do it after you have noticed. I also tend to ignore the feelings of children in times of crisis. Until I realize it and decide not to do it again, but when stress increases, in times of crisis, I also try to ignore the feelings of the children.
What I want to say is that for whatever reason, on children and young people around you, including your own children, do not do anything that could hurt them, the words, the manner, and the things. I would like to share with you that you need to be mindful of yourself.
People like us, who have reached a certain age, love children and young people, but their respect has not yet reached the standard level.
If you consider yourself an adult, I see three things to keep about yourself, about children and young people.
The first step is to keep in mind that you love and respect them, express this by words of mouth, and then prove it by your actions.
You need to love and cherish your child who has not been traumatized and you also need to build a new relationship with the right kind of care and kindness to your traumatized child. For this reason, I would recommend parents to read. You should read books on parenting and books on trauma treatment.
The second step is to make sure that you do not do things that you do not want them to do. For example, if do not want your son to drink alcohol, the father does not even drink beer. If you want your daughter to be polite, the mother has to make sure that does not use harsh words or actions.
They also have the qualities that children and young people want their parents and adults to become. I urge you to listen to their voices about what kind of parent they need to be.
Third, appreciate and support their efforts. When we adults recognize the efforts of children and young people, they become more diligent and better children. When adults scold children, they become smaller and less humble than we are, who do not dare to do anything. Therefore, if you want to have better and better children and a better generation than you, the most effective and simple way to become a good person is to recognize and value their efforts.
Most adults think that blaming them is compassionate. There is no denying that this kind of anger involves our ego. So when you love your children, you want them to succeed and to be good people, I would suggest that you focus on them, not on yourself. Even if they do something wrong while doing it, they should not be discouraged by it. They know they can make mistakes. Believe them, it gives them the strength to believe that they can do the right thing. Even if they see that they are wrong, I think the best way to encourage them is to give them backing support that will strengthen their actions, which are not based on selfishness.
Of course, children are not the only ones who make mistakes, and adults are also. We have to overcome those mistakes while learning from them. I think we should be careful not to limit their learning to young people who are afraid of making mistakes.
About helping children after an Trauma (for parents), Self-Healing Trauma (Youth Based Articles), Rehabilitation after trauma (for people with post-traumatic stress disorder), I will continue to write articles.
May Thingyan Hein-Myitmakha ( Energy Healer / Reiki Practitioner / Reiki Master)
Translator- Hana M